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Wednesday, March 18, 2015

March 20th First day of Spring 2019
I wrote this post about the joy of Spring 2015,
the year before I moved from my little red house
at the top of the hill in Lakeview OR
to Goldendale WA.
Broken things ... hidden beauty
if we look a bit closer .. wait a bit longer
for cold winter to pass ....
to see the daffodils.
 ............................................
 First Day of Spring  
March 20, 2015 ...
but this year there is no snow 
on the daffodils 
by the 
front gate 

Spring 2013
and the fence by the front gate is 
BROKEN


The spikey fence in the back garden,
so lovely in 2013,


is broken, 
leaning sadly in the rain
  sluggish and drizzly rain ....
 The bucket, fence and 
apricot tree ....

BROKEN 
busted, fractured,ruptured, shattered ...
splintered, torn apart, pulverized, damaged,
 smashed,
mangled
(take a deep breath and continue)
not working, broken down, in disrepair, out of order,
on the blink, on the fritz, kaput, 
beaten, crushed, vanquished, disheartened, humbled, fallen.

Spring rain shrouds 
 distant hills, 
drizzly and wet...
depressing.
I hoped for sunshine 
and fluffy white clouds,
warming the earth 
while I pull weeds in the garden,
mulch the flower beds,
and prune the roses.

And then I saw a double rainbow when the
storm clouds parted .....


Opposite of 
BROKEN:
whole, intact, functioning, running,
humming, invincible, indomitable,
triumphant.
TRIUMPHANT!
Today's rainbow is 
triumphant!
..................
At second glance,

the apricot tree is
blossoming with 
 promises of fruit.
Daffodils,
 the first announcement of spring,
always happy and lovely ....
I hardly notice the less than perfect fence
 leaning ever so slightly.
A bit of duct tape will make the bucket useful again.

An artist's inspiration is often imperfection ...
it's much more interesting
in an imperfect kind of way....
as am I, 
slightly perfect in an imperfect kind of way.

Rainbows and daffodils 
broken fences repaired ...

Spring 2015 is off to a memorable start!













Saturday, February 14, 2015

Hearts and Hands Forever

Feb. 14, 2015
VALENTINE'S DAY ROCKS!!!!

My Valentine
As well today, Feb. 14, 2017
 as when heart rock was found ....

"Come on," Jack begged. "Put your shoes on and let's take a walk down the hill .... maybe I will find a squirrel to chase ... or some quail."


And so we did.

Jack walked under the electric wire fence ... I had to disconnect it before walking down the hill, then place it back to keep a small charge passing through the wire ... just enough zap to keep the neighbor's horses out of the front yard. 
Jack Flash, Dee Dee and Teaser watched as we gingerly walked down the hill. 
Sometimes they followed ... but today they only noticed our passing and continued eating the green grass sprouting on the hillside ..... where last year on Valentine's Day we had snow hiding the tender shoots.

Jack always leads the way......
Our destination.....a steep, easy walk down to 
the end of the driveway, stopping at the green gates. 

Always on the look out for deer ... or squirrels, rabbits
or anything that moved. But he kept up a quick pace and  
beat me to our destination.
Walk back up the hill ...... pant, pant, rest ... pant! 
Me, not Jack!
The climb back up the hill was steep and long .....
Jack rushed up
while I trudged along behind.
Half way to the top, I walked the path horses and cars
made .... leaving imprints as plain as a road sign saying,
"This way to the top! Keep going ... you're almost there!"
While Jack made a side trip to investigate something scurrying up a bitter brush, 
I stopped to catch my breath ....
and that's when I saw it.

Nearly buried in the gravel, tire tracks imprinted in the dirt,
was a rock...
but not just an ordinary rock.
A heart shaped rock .....
 If I had raced up the hill, keeping up with Jack
I would have missed it.
How many times had I passed by that rock
and never noticed it? Has it been there forever?
........ not meant to be noticed until today,
Valentine's Day, 2015.
Dee Dee and Jack came to see what I had in my hand.


She sniffed it, snorted and said,
"Smells like a plain old rock to me." And she
went off to find more tender green grass.
Jack had nothing to say about the rock .. 
but sat to rest a bit
before following me into the house 
and 
curled up in his bed for a short nap.

I held the 
Valentine Rock in my hand,
wiped the dirt from the surface, 
and my own beating heart was smiling as I remembered:
Song of Songs 8:6,7 
Place me as a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, 
like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love
it would be utterly scorned.
........................
 I think I'll keep this Valentine's Rock,
until one day
Jack and I,
and probably 
Dee Dee, Teaser and Jack Flash,
trudge down to the Pine Tree
and leave it there ...
Eldon loved rocks!














Monday, February 9, 2015


10,000 Page Views
Whow A New Life !

2011 to 2015

I broke out of my
cocoon of sadness and spread my wings, writing about
all things that mattered to me .....
Faith, family, fear, fun, foolishness and
frivolity!
Fly, Little Old Widder Woman, fly!

My blog began small ... received by family members
and close friends.


The early posts were primarily about me and Eldon
and our adventures .....from our marriage in 1956 


to 
sailors for 18 years,


to land owners ..... 10.6 acres, "Anclado Final".


Who knew it would be this much fun?
Or this much hard work?
Or this sad when the time came we had to part?



Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
There is a time for every purpose under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, 
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, 
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
...............
Our children grew up,
parents ....  siblings ... relatives and friends died, divorce tore our hearts, 
and new babies and weddings brought new joy.
There is truly a time for every purpose under heaven.

I thank the 
10,000
readers of my blog, from all over the world,
 helping bring our world a bit closer together!

But .... 10,000 readers is a LOT of people!!

Onto the next 10,000!
Can't wait to share my 
Little Old Widder Woman
rantings with you!
God bless!
Monica, Little Old Widder Woman




Saturday, February 7, 2015

 

 

Valentines Day, 2019

"To all of those that I have loved

and still do,

sing them my song."

------------------------------------------

                    Valentines Day 2015
I bet everyone could find sentiments of 
LOVE
tucked away in a Bible,
or a book,
an envelope
or stuffed into a purse left on a
shelf in the closet,
forgotten sentiments
of love poked into a discarded purse ....
containing a
stub from a paid water bill from last year,
 chewing gum wrappers,
receipt from the Mexican restaurant you last shared  chips and salsa before the main course,
a comb with most teeth missing,
and a crumpled up note he sent ... 
apologizing for being angry,
dated  Feb. 14th


Kiss and Make Up Sessions
Unlimited Hand-Holding
..............................
I'm glad I decided to finally clear away the items on the shelf where I
put things I no longer wanted, items to donate to 
the second hand store.
The purse .... emptied out onto the floor,
and out fell the last Valentine cards he gave me.
I sat on the closet floor and read them ...... 
Valentines, 
promises of
unending love and 
kiss and make up sessions. So clever
and so like him .....
 not  gushy or overly sentimental.
I opened my keepsake drawer,
rummaged through envelopes, 
photos,
albums and ......
found the last card I bought for him for
Valentines Day
Feb. 14, 2009
.......


I never had a chance to give it to him.
Eldon Lawson
Sept. 15, 1935 - Feb. 3, 2009
But I put it on the bulletin board, along with 

a Valentine from Mexico,


A reminder of two little people scaling  
great heights, overcoming huge obstacles.


Speaks for itself.......


A promise ........


Blessings from friends before one of our ocean journeys.


Eldon's favorite saying .......


"I always wanted to be a cowboy and a sailor"... (thanks Dean.)

This was my bulletin board
the first year
after our last 
Valentines Day.
It held lovely reminders of our 
love, lives, devotion, tears and joy.
After all,
isn't that what a bulletin board is supposed to hold and  
Valentines Cards meant to express?
Love and blessings to all 
on this upcoming 
Valentines Day
2015.

Monday, January 12, 2015

ERMA'S POEM


It's just starting to rain ... timing was perfect an hour ago 
when it was dry and sunshiny to walk down the hill to the Pine tree
 and leave something lovely at the stump,
and at the small pile of large rocks beside the stump



I don't visit this site too often ... difficult to sense
the enormity of the stored memories in this spot,
knowing the memory making stopped for both of them ... 
and yet I carry on.
Me and Jack. He led the way.



Ahead of me and through the gate, down the hill. He knew the trail well.
Sniffing and scouring the slippery decline to the Pine Tree 
as if showing me the safest descent to our destination.
He's been here before with me.
Nothing disturbed ... quiet, lovely, cold and damp 
 yet sheltering and fragrant ...pine scent and wet dirt.




Tiny green plants popping out of dirt clods
pushing toward the fleeting light from the sun,
reminding me that life goes on even in the darkest, deadest places.




My neighbor's horses have visited  the Pine Tree ... there and there
and over there, their hoof prints and fertilizer
for the newly awakening flowers and weeds 
that take over the hillside,
down to the spring-fed creek ... which dries up after the snow melts,
and becomes a handy path to follow part of the way back to the top of the hill
and home.

I was reminded of  a visit I made to the Pine Tree in 2011 ... my friend Erma, 
a Little Old Widder Woman like myself, 
walked down with me for her first visit to the site after Eldon had died.
Her husband Jim was Eldon's best buddy 
when we lived aboard our boat in San Diego harbor.

Two little old women making their way down a rather steep hillside, 
grabbing branches to keep us from sliding down on our bottoms, 
and placing our footsteps very carefully
or we'd tumble head over bottoms into the dry creek bed.

We made it back up the hill and spent lovely days remembering our 
darling husbands ...
but all visits come to and end.
Today, recalling her visit, I found a lovely poem she wrote and sent to me.
Thanks Erma for the memories and this delightful poem.

"We shared our tears
and memories
as we hiked down to his tree.
He chose this final resting place
it stands so beautiful to see.
Everyone who comes to say goodbye
brings a gift to place beneath the Pine,
While going down the hill I found my gift,
three smooth, round stones to leave behind.
As we began to climb back to the house,
I picked some flowers,
some weeds
some wild.
So here's my gift to help you through, 
in memory of your loved one,
here's another hug!"
Enjoy it,
make more memories.
Remember you are loved.
God bless you friend,
Erma