Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Bride's Been Kidnapped!

Whisked away, out of the hands of the groom, the young barefoot bride yelled her husband's name, repeatedly, as she valiantly fought her kidnapper, but to no avail. He lifted her off her feet as if she was a feather and plunked her down in the car, driving off at  break-neck speed. The groom couldn't follow because someone - probably one of the groomsmen - hid the keys to the 58 Chevy, their new car awaiting  to take them to their first night as husband and wife. His bride's shoes sat empty at the spot on the dancefloor where she had slipped out of them to dance with her Dad. The groom clenched his jaw and fists, ready to hit someone, as he franticly tried to run after the get-away car, now out of sight.

"Let's get a burger,"  the Dad exclaimed, pulling up to a restaurant and opening the passenger door for her to get out. She gasped, noticing her father had parked at  a fast food restaurant only three blocks from the wedding reception. A slightly tipsy, crooked grin appeared on his face.
"I can't go in the restaurant .... I'm barefooted and in my wedding dress!" she exclaimed, realizing her kidnapper wasn't going to take this as an excuse. Not one to be easily embarrased, she strode into the restaurant holding onto  her Dad's arm and ordered at the take-out window, "I'll have a chocolate swirl cone, please."
The restaurant guests and waitresses stared in open-mouthed wonder at the bare footed, wedding-gown attired young bride in the company of a man, assumed to be her groom, but  old enough  to be her Father. Realizing what the people in the restaurant must have been thinking, the bride and "groom" smiled .... then giggled .... followed by attempts of muted laughter.
Their take-out order bagged and  ice cream cone in-hand, the odd looking couple left the restaurant and drove away.
"What can I do, what can I do, what can I do?" the bride thought, trying to figure a way out of Dad's car while he drove around the blocks near the family home and reception, where her now frantic husband awaited her return.
"Dad, I have to go to the bathroom!" Brilliant. Convinced this was a true emergency, and  ready if not willing to give up his little girl, the Dad agreeably parked in front of their home.
"I can see the reception from here," she thought, glancing across the street and one block over. "And he's waiting for me ......"
HONK. ....HONK ..... HONK...... HOOOOOONNNNNNNKKKKKK! Blared the horn as she pressed it repeatedly. HOOOOOONNNNNNNNNKKKKKK!
Du du du du, du dummmmm! And here he comes! Skidding around the corner, steering wheel responding to his skilled driving. SCREACH .... the tires sounded his arrival. SLAM ... the car door shouted and he was at the kidnapper's driver-side door. With grand bravado, the  5 ft 7, 135 pound,  ex-Marine, now son-in-law, confronted his 6 ft.2, 220 pound father-in-law.
"I want my wife!" he demanded.
The Dad, serious now, contemplating giving up his second child, just sixteen years old, to the short, skinny, clenched fisted, frowning young man he'd grown to accept. He put his arms around her, hugged and sighed.
"She's all yours," the Dad said, reaching out to shake hands with his son-in-law.
The Dad drove away.
"Where did he take you?" he asked.
"I can't wait to tell you," she said, smiling .
"Are you hungry," he asked, his arm around her shoulder as they drove away to their honeymoon hotel.
"Nope, not at all," she insisted, flicking away the last remaining ice cream cone crumbs from her wedding dress.

Honeymoon anecdote: Dad and I pulled up in front of the beautiful hotel where reservations had been made for the Bridal Suite. We sat for a few seconds, contemplating the hugeness of this first night alone together .... in a fancy hotel ... as husband and wife.
But that first night was not to be spent in the Bridal Suite. Now, I don't remember how he talked me out of it ... yes he talked me out of the Bridal Suite! We ended up down the street at a Motel where I stayed in the car while my new husband registered us for the night. I have two scenarios why he did that: 1) He hadn't actually made the reservations. 2) He was embarrased to walk into the Hotel while it was still light out with bride in wedding attire beside him for all the world to see.
I like scenario #2.
I'll be with him again one day .... I'm going to ask him about that!
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