Thursday, September 22, 2011

October 20, 2014 would have been our 58th wedding anniversary.
Boxes can hold the most amazing, beautiful and precious memories. The left box enfolds two circles of love  - wedding bands designed by Eldon and crafted by a jewelry artist for our 25th wedding anniversary......and one of military dedication -  Eldon's Marine Corp ring,(recently given to Aaron, my oldest Grandson who's heart was open to serving in the Marine Corp.)
In the center are gifts from Eldon to me,
 one for our 40th
 anniversary ...a dainty  ruby necklace,
and a surprise ruby ring he bought for me when our family all went to Hawaii to celebrate our 50th anniversary. 
The treasure box on the right contains 2007
Christmas-surprise wedding bands Eldon bought for us because he thought they were just what we needed!

October 20, 1956 .......
  our wedding day photo ..... with quicky margin notes to myself on how to position photo to scan.
I was going to edit out the notes .... but somehow they tell a story about me .... I write notes .... and notes and notes to remind myself about practically everything! But one note I can't write any more is to Eldon .....But every night before I go to sleep I tell the Lord good night and add,
"Please, Lord, tell Eldon I love him."

I wrote the below post a few years ago but the wisdom and soothing message is true for me today as it was back then. And the wisdom in this scripture holds my heart and mind securely until the day we meet again ........
"Weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning."  Psalm 30:5
This post is for those who have lost a loved one and are experiencing
Mourning and
Moving through it...... alone.
The horizon looks bleak....
you're one person paddling when once there were two.
You're cold and can't seem to get warm ...
a bog surrounds you and you're stuck in it.
But you keep paddling.

Getting out of the vessel you're in is not an option....
so you keep paddling
hoping your efforts will bring you closer to the end of this voyage,
or a place to anchor for a rest before setting off on a future voyage you want to embark upon.
 Future voyage?
Your compass has been left behind and you are lost.
No waypoints in sight.
But you keep paddling
just because that's what you have to do.

You reflect often how there were
two paddles rowing ....
calm water.
That's the way it was.....should still be.
But won't ever be again.
A letter to carry with you on this alone-journey to be read
and shared when grief and mourning
seem to take more strength than you have.

Dear Friend,
I have experienced a loss that is frankly creating an array of feelings and thoughts that are, at times, difficult to handle. It will take time, certainly months, perhaps years, for me to work through these thoughts and feelings.

There will be times when I cry more than usual. You need to understand that my tears are not a sign of weakness or lack of faith or hope. They are the symbols of the depth of my loss and the sign that I am acknowledging my loss.

There may be times when I may become angry without seeming to have a reason. You need to understand that my emotions are put on edge by  the stress of grief. Please be forgiving of me when I become a bit out -of-sorts or emotional. There will be times when I need your understanding and presence more than anything else. If you don't know what to say, just touch me or give me a hug to let me know you care.  Please don't wait for me to call you. I am often too tired to even think of reaching out for the help I need.

Don't allow me to withdraw from you. I will need you more than ever during the coming months and years.

Realize my faith does not excuse me from the grief and mourning process. Remember me in your prayers as I remember you in mine.

If you have had an experience of loss that seems anything like minne, please share it with me. Your experience will not make me feel worse. It will make me feel less alone.

Though this loss is agonizing, I will get through it and I will live again. I will not always feel as I do now. I will laugh again.

 I thank your for caring about me. Your concern is a gift I treasure.                Sincerely,
Director of Aftercare, Phil Friedeman has adapted this letter from Bob Deits, grief and mourning specialist
and permission has been given  for sending  this letter following a loss.

A sunset on the Sea of Cortez......
before awaiting the sunrise of a new morning.
Thank you for letting me share these thoughts and emotions
in photos and words.
Eldon's birthday, Sept. 15th, brought a lot of
thoughts and emotions for me to get through.

Grief and mourning counseling are available through
hospice services, bereavement counselors,
your faith based environment.
And family or friends
and for me .......
Thanks God ..... I know I'm never really alone.

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